All right. Let me get this off my chest. I’ve long had mod aspirations.
I was a child at the time of the mod second wave of the late 1970s and early 1980’s. The cool kids at school were mods; their bigger brothers were mods, too, or at least wanna-be mods. I pleaded for “grandad” shirts and Harrington jackets, my cropped Sta-Prest and Farah trousers swung around my ankles exposing white towelling socks. My wardrobe was almost entirely burgundy, navy and grey. When I wasn’t obsessing over the gatefold sleeve of Complete Madness, I was doodling mod roundels and Walt Jabsco (the 2 Tone man) on my school books. Forget aspirations of Quadrophenia, a scooter was never even an option – hell, I’d only just moved up to a Raleigh Grifter.
Fast forward 40-odd years and the 75th anniversary of the “Wasp” seems like a good time to silence the perpetual longing for that Italian two-wheeled experience. Thank goodness the ill-fitting military parka and Sta-Prest have long since gone to a Sue Ryder (my rusty Madness and Specials pin badges consigned to a box in the loft). This was to be scootering 2022 and a chance to return to the Central London workplace in style – without rubbing shoulders with the (probably still coughing and spluttering) hoi polloi on the tube or bus. And equally importantly, without running the gauntlet of Congestion Zone and ULEZ charges.
It was time to wrestle the image of the scooter back from the reckless hoards of delivery drivers that have sprung up in lockdown, their Honda PCX’s weaving across town, seemingly untroubled by the rules of the road that govern the rest of us.
I’ve ridden (a regular pedal bike) in central London for more than 25 years, commuting five days a week in every kind of weather. The city is crazy and (quite often) dangerous to navigate on two wheels, regardless of how long you’ve been riding. After all that time, I should have some kind of “road-sense”. Just how different would having a motor and a bigger bike feel? It’s still two wheels, right?
First off was a CBT – compulsory basic training. This is a one-day practical tutorial on how to handle a geared or automatic motorbike or scooter (and allows you to ride up to a 125cc bike). Handling, highway code, U-turns, emergency stops… call me a geek, but I absolutely loved it – and, furthermore, felt more confident by the time I threw a leg over my own scooter.
The bike in question was a box-fresh, canary-yellow Vespa GTS Super. It looked beautiful, the perfect balance of classic heritage style without trying to look “throwback” – no array of mirrors and fox tail on the aerial required. The subtle chrome-work, grills on the bodywork and overall size differentiated it from the buzzing hoards of “plastic” identikit scooters surrounding me at the lights. It looked like a design classic, a memorable shape, like the contours of a Porsche 911 (but without the accompanying price tag). I was searching for that iconic Vespa aesthetic, without the vintage bike maintenance regime – and potential roadside humiliation, fruitlessly kickstarting a broken down bike.
Right. Time to turn the key, pull in the brake lever, press start… Throttle away.
The feeling of freedom is instantaneous. I can’t overstate that enough. No concern about selecting the correct gear – just twist and go. Simple and modern, for a modernist.
After years of pedalling myself up to speed, here I was… ten, 20, 30mph, cutting through traffic in the capital without breaking a sweat. I was experiencing that heady mix of freedom and speed. But it wasn't without increased responsibility.
My biggest fear? Penalty tickets. My commute navigates Hackney, Islington and Westminster: boroughs riddled with a baffling array of 20mph limits, cycle-only routes, low-traffic neighbourhoods and bus lanes that accept and exclude motorbikes. Suddenly, it felt like my previous laissez-faire cycle ride to the office had turned into a nightmarish minefield of potential speeding tickets and bus lane violations. This was a new feeling: I now had a number plate.
This wasn't carefree scootering in the back streets of Naples. This was London town – CCTV capital of Europe. One afternoon I ended up getting trapped for half an hour in the mind-boggling one-way system bordering Arsenal's Emirates stadium (local roads that I'd been riding for the last two decades). I finally understood why all dispatch riders were following Waze on their iPhones, using “car” routes across the city.
What would this mean for journey times, though? I’d spent years speculating what form of transport would be quickest across the capital. On the bicycle, on my five mile journey, I averaged 25 to 30 minutes. On the Vespa, 28 minutes exactly (in heavy traffic). Huh, pretty decent. On a quieter day or out of the city, we’d have a clear winner.
Through town, the experience was very different from the bicycle. First off, the position on the road is “centre of the lane” (riding defensively) rather than to the left of the lane (AKA in the gutter). It sounds naive after all these years, but I didn’t realise with the increased size and speed that you can legitimately hold a lane (much as other traffic may still resent you). Secondly, potholes are still a “thing”. You’re riding on 12-inch wheels (rather charmingly the same size as those vinyl Ska albums), which are two-and-a-half times smaller than my commuter bicycle wheels, though with tyres five times the width. Third, you can get out of shape pretty quickly. Without coming over all “highway code stopping distances” travelling at 30mph in fast-moving, busy traffic is very different from travelling at 18mph in a half-empty cycle lane. Cars still don’t care whether you’re on a bike, e-bike, e-scooter or Harley, you still represent someone who has more freedom than they do and is swarming all over them like a, well, “Wasp”.
The Vespa handled predictably. Although it was more than ten times the weight of my bicycle, in traffic the open and upright rider position and generous scale of the GTS made riding through town a breeze. Repositioning myself at the lights, however, took more energy – you can’t just shift the bike sideways or backwards. On my first few journeys I’d find myself exposed in peculiar positions on the road in stationary traffic and at the lights. The kind of places only a cyclist would be welcome. Some of my overconfidence and impatience on a bicycle was proving to be my undoing on a scooter. It was time to sit up and relax a little.
Plentiful acceleration coupled with the tiny size of the mph dial on the speedo made speed control difficult around 20mph. It’s romantic to have the speedo in kph (molto Europeo) but fiddly to read in traffic, with fluctuating speed limits. Honestly, there was more throttle than I ever needed in town and more brakes (ABS on the front) than I ever reached for. The specs sheet lists the GTS as having a top speed of 70mph – I troubled 50mph and, for a newbie around town, that was more than enough (riders looking to navigate dual-carriageways will no doubt find comfort in that extra top end, though).
Wet weather would provide similar hazards to the bike: oil on the road, wet manhole covers, decreased visibility. Dressing for the scooter has its own challenges, too, even on a cold or wet commute by bike, your exertion keeps cold at bay to a certain extent. Scootering meant layering up, proper gloves, proper mid-layers, proper jackets. It wasn’t proving to be all lightweight Italian suits and loafers in London – but it gave me the option of wearing a bigger variety of jackets.
Back home I had to ride the bike up a step into a miniature London front garden. It was here that the weight of a scooter is felt. I wasn’t about to leave the Vespa at the kerb, this is Hackney after all: scooters, and arguably Vespas, are in demand with anyone who can lay their hands on one. I locked the GTS up with two heavy-duty chains – one through the back wheel and one through the front (and through an Oxford ground anchor). Do bear in mind the amount of space between the disk brake and the wheel – the Kryptonite chain was confidence inspiring, but only just made it through the gaps on the front wheel. On top of all that was a bike cover. Save for hiring 24-hour security, that was about all I could do to protect my new steed.
Is a Vespa the perfect transport for a 2021 “modernist”? I’d argue that it is. It’s cleaner than ever, more efficient and, at a time when the commute is more congested than ever, only the Vespa Elettrica is more forward thinking (or eco friendly).
Am I missing the bicycle? Sure. There’s no workout on the scooter, there’s road tax and the threat of those damn penalty tickets. There’s that increased cost and responsibility… But with all that, there’s that feeling of freedom, that instantaneous freedom.
Vespa GTS Special 125, £4,740. vespa.com
Don't leave home without…
Vespa VJ helmet
A traditional open-faced lid with great peripheral vision and even greater classic looks. The perfect pairing with a vintage-styled Vespa. Features an additional retractable sun-visor. £180. vespa.com
Kryptonite Fahgettaboudit chain
Like it says, fit this and fahgettaboudit. A burly 150cm, 14mm, six-sided manganese steel monster. Paired with a double-deadbolt anti-drill lock, this beast weighs in at a hefty 7kg. It’s one that is probably best left where you store your bike at night rather than your shop-stop lock. £124.99. kryptonitelock.com
Oxford Protex stretch cover
Keep rain, dust and prying eyes from your shiny new whip with Oxford’s “industry standard” rain cover. With pockets to keep your locks off the floor, a PVC window for solar charger and numberplate, belly band and a choice of five sizes (from hairdryer to hog!). £99.99. oxfordproducts.com
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